The World Paradox
by Nero Assassina
Summary: Imagine,if you will,if you were in your room,minding your business,when a fictional character comes and ends the world as you know it.You and your sister are spared,because he believes you hold specific info to help him rule all worlds.You are sent to another world.You now have two choices-stay silent,help,and be safe,or try to kill him to get back home.NO PAIRINGS.Swearing here!
1. I Survive the End of the World

**Hi! So... first KHR fic, being bored, doing this before school starts... the usual~! ^.^ **

**I don't own KHR.**

* * *

**_Kyoto, Japan_**

It was morning, as it turns out, when the world ended.

Honestly, it was actually kind of inconvenient. Why couldn't the world end, like, in the afternoon, where everyone isn't completely groggy, and tired, and depressed. Also, to top it off, the world ended on Monday.

I guess saying it ended isn't exactly accurate. It was more of a 'It-Got-Taken-Over-By-A-Dude-Obsessed-With-Marshmallows', but to me, the world pretty much ended.

I remembered the night before, I'd been downstairs, with my family, watching some kid's movie that I couldn't bother to remember the name. But it was fun. I sat next to my little sister, Mel. She's nine years old, and despite being sisters, she and I pretty much looked as different as day and night. She had short black hair and dark eyes, inherited from out father, whereas I had scarlet hair from my mother. I had dark, dark brown eyes. So, maybe we're not as different as I thought. But I loved the kid anyway. She was so sweet and adorable. She hadn't changed much since she was younger. We were curled up on the sofa, leaning against each other.

"Haha, that stupid saber-toothed tiger thing died," I said, speaking in my native tongue, English. Yeah, of course, outside of this house, Japanese as always. But I will savor being able to speak Americano in one point of my life. "He totally deserved it!"

"Eri, that's not nice!" Mel poked me.

I sighed. "That tiger dude was about to kill the baby! And the mammoth dude. And the sloth. And-" Mel held up a hand.

"Nothing deserves to die."

"Dude, you're such a wimp." I grinned and punched her lightly. In return, she... tickled me.

Yes, I admit it, _I'm ticklish._ There. "Okay, I get it, I get it! Stop it!" Mel gave me a deceivingly innocent smile. "I love ya~!"

"_Sure _you do, evil little midget."

Mel pouted. "One day, I'll be taller. Then I'll call you a midget."

"Good luck with that, midget." I peered at the television. "Uh, the movie just ended..."

She smiled sheepishly. "Oops. Next time~!"

Afterwards, I was lying on my bed at midnight, drawing in my extremely thick drawing book. It was a of couple inches thick, and filled with drawings from when I was eight years old to now, at the ripe age of sixteen, the majority of the drawings drawn in the middle of class while ignoring the teacher. Nothing much had changed, save for the whole concept of not being a hobbit midget anymore. Unlike a _certain _person whom I could name, who was a year younger than me, but _still _a hobbit.

I grinned to myself. At that moment, I was drawing a picture of Sawada Tsunayoshi, from Katekyo Hitman Reborn. I don't know if you've seen the anime, or read the manga, but if you haven't, _do it now. _That is one of the best anime/mangas in life(next to Fairy Tail. Or Hetalia. Or- actually, you know what? I'm gonna just shut up now...).

Back to me drawing. I sang along to my iPod softly. I'm glad you weren't there to hear it. I have the _worst _singing voice, but I loved singing anyway. The pencil crayon's orange filled the white page, adding a jolt if colour to the blank landscape. There was one main reason I was drawing the character, and my main reason was quite simple; He looked like a boss in Hyper Dying Will mode. Personally, I have no idea why I'm coloring the picture. Coloring, half the time, screws up the entire drawing, and is totally time-consuming. If I want to make the drawing decent, it would take _hours. _And doing the background, as always, is a total pain. But for all the Katekyo Hitman Reborn pictures I've been drawing lately, it was worth it.

Some hour later, I was finally done. And I was proud. And, most importantly...

...I was tired. So yeah, I fell asleep with the drawing book still open. Who hasn't?

If anything, that's what pretty much saved me from death...

But sent me to a living hell.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of an explosion.

Now, be honest here. How many of you have been in an explosion, or relatively close? And no, seeing a movie with an explosion or video game doesn't count. No one? Allow me to explain. It feels like your eardrums are about to burst. It sounds like the beginning of the Armageddon(which, in my case it _was _the beginning of an explosion) It _looks _like the gates of hell have opened up next door for a pizza party, complete with the shrapnel, the huge fire and all. It _smells _like... actually, kinda campfire-y after a while. And it also feels like you're in the middle of the earthquake. I made some undignified squeaking noise, which if someone asks about it, I will deny it.

This next part may not necessarily occur to the average explosion survivor. But my window shattered inwards. With a scream, I instinctively threw my arms in front of my face. A white-haired man stepped in casually, as if he were strolling into his front door. Despite his hair colour, he looked quite young. Maybe twenty-five, at the most. His hair was in spikes, and his eyes were in slits. He had arched eyebrows and an upturned nose, with an easy smile. If I saw him in the streets(and, you know, if he hadn't barged into my room), I would've thought that he was a awesome happy guy. A purple tattoo of a...spiky something adorned his left cheek, and he wore some white outfit, complete with a flowing cape. If I wasn't freaking out already, I definitely was now. No self-respecting fan girl of Katekyo Hitman Reborn could take a look at him and _not _know who he is.

"Nya~!" he chirped. "Good morning, stranger-chan! I'm sorry to have to do this, but..." He lifted a finger and pointed at me. I know pointing's rude, but I think I knew what he was doing. I scrambled away, knocking myself and the sketchbook to the ground. Good timing, as it turns out, because right then, the man said, "White Finger," and blasted the freaking wall, right where I was a moment ago.

"Dammit, that's not fair!" I squeaked at Byakuran, clutching the sketchbook to my chest. I know, holding a sketchbook like a life line in your last moments is stupid, but I've been working on that since I was _eight. _I'd rather not die without it. Sentiment, I guess.

That did it. Byakuran(come on, admit it, you knew it was him) stopped in his tracks, and peered at the page. And he momentarily lost his smile. I looked down. It was my drawing of Tsuna I did the last night. I looked back up. The grin was back in place. "What's your name, stranger-chan?"

I automatically retorted, "It's _definitely _not 'stranger-chan'." I instantly regretted it. Me and my fat-ass mouth. Byakuran continued staring imploringly at me, the fox-like expression never changing. I gulped. "S-Sylvie Eris."

"Hm, that's not a Japanese name," he said in English. My jaw dropped. Besides my family, no one I knew of spoke English. I could almost hug him. Well, not really... Sweet English... "Sylvie-chan, you're coming with me~!"

_That _snapped me out of my English-loving reverie. "Huh? Wait, what?" I demanded, still speaking English. "What am I supposed to do with my family? My friends?"

"If you help, I spare them!" he said with his trademark grin. I looked at him doubtfully. Should I... or shouldn't I?

It wasn't even a real option. "Deal." Yes, I know that meant I may potentially... kill some people, and all the other stuff that ensued. But for those of you who are thinking, 'But all lives are equal and special, ladida', maybe that was in fairy tale land, because in my world, the only people who mattered were the ones I loved. A brief flash of Mel, laughing, saying to me "_I love ya~!". _

"Where will they go?" I asked suddenly, frowning. "Clearly, they can't stay here..."

"Bya~ I send them... somewhere!" he answered cheerfully.

I frowned. "Well, where the hell are _we_ going?"

"Back to the base!" I'm pretty sure that my eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Oh..." Shit.

* * *

**So... for once in my life, the words weren't totally awkward. Awesome~! ^.^ Wanna review? *puppy dog face***


	2. We Book Our Travel Plans

**I'm so bad. I get so interested in a story, and be like, I'M GONNA UPDATE EVERY WEEK... and then not do it. ^.^ And then I get mad at an author for not updating regurlarly! XD I'm a genius...**

**MegaPollen- SEE? SO ERIS ISN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS SO! Geez, Byak-kun~! He's so mean sometimes! Anyway, _grazie~!_**

**Flying-Hobbit-Child-Whom-I-Don't-Feel-Like-Typing-Penname-Out-For- WELL WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? It's not like you're tall enough to qualify as a not-hobbit~! And I think that's the first time you weren't tired and said 'I love you'.  
... I AM SO RECOREDING THAT ONE DOWN FOR THE BOOKS.**

**Discoabc- Why, _grazie! _I love Byak-kun! He's the best villain EVER! No twisted logic or anything, just...being awesome! Having fun. I love this guy! Even though he blew crap up on a Monday morning.. O.e And you're right, I heard nothing...  
I READ IT ALL THOUGH. MUAHAHAHAHA!**

**... I LOVE MUSIC CLASS~! 3 And Italian class. We learned how to order coffee as our first lesson... O_o **

* * *

"Mel!" I yelled, sprinting down the hall. The hardwood floor was cold against my feet as they pounded towards my sister's room. Her door opened, revealing a short head of black hair and a tear-streaked face. I wrapped my arms around her the moment I reached her. "We'll be fine," I said immediately.

" Eris, what happened?"

"Uh, it's kind of a _long _story. You know how I watch anime and stuff?" Mel nodded.

"Well, uh, one of the characters blew up everything, so we have to go somewhere to be safe." I mentally facepalmed. _Great explanation, Sylvie. That totally explains EVERY last freaking thing. Very nice. _

Mel gave me a look that pretty much told me that she thought that I lost my mind. And to be honest, I wasn't sure if I had or not. I made a face and straightened. "Pack your stuff, Mel. We gotta leave. Like, now."

"Where exactly are we going?" Mel sounded exasperated.

"I have no idea," I sighed. "Meet me at my room in ten, would you? Please?"

She nodded, still looking absolutely confused. "Fine."

And so, of course, twelve odd minutes later, I was in my burnt-out room(which still had a huge smoldering hole in the wall) with my bag already packed, waiting for my sister, with a fox-faced marshmallow evil villain guy... Who just so happened to be eating marshmallows. And if I didn't hate him before, I _definitely _hated him now. Because those marshmallows were practically calling to me. And I couldn't even ask for any, because really, when was the last time you asked an evil megolomaniac villain for some marshmallows? Really? And so, I grit my teeth and bore it for another two minutes before my sister came, tugging a duffel bag behind her.

"You're late. I have been waiting for..." I turned and glanced at the clock, "Twelve minutes! With this guy!" I jabbed a finger at the evil guy in question.

Byakuran pouted. "What's so bad about me? What did I do?"

_Oh, _I thought acidicly, _sure. Act like you did not just orchestrate to take over almost every bloody parallel world and then proceed to blow almost all of the crap in this world up. Very nice._

At least I didn't actually say that out loud. Mel, on the other hand, said, "_Well, _I think I can name a few things..."

And that was when I sent her the most piercing glare in the world to tell her to shut up. Byakuran, meanwhile, acted like he hadn't heard. And I didn't know whether or not to be relieved, or pissed at him for ignoring us.

An awkward silence passed over us.

"So!" I said, attempting to sound cheerful. "Where are we going, hm? Secret base? Military bunker? Down the rabbit hole to Wonderland, perhaps?" Mel grinned, and Byakuran let out a laugh.

"Maybe~! But judging by how you know who my target is, I'm gonna assume you know where we're going, Eris-chan~!" Byakuran basically just spoke English, seeing how for the three of us, it was our first language. So why use Japanese(poorly in my case), when we could use wonderful, wonderful English?

Yeah. My Japanese wasn't exactly stellar.

"Um, no I don't?" _Yeah. Good job Eris. _Real _convincing..._

Byakuran only smiled wider, his squinty eyes becoming more upturned and cheerful. "Nya~ Too bad. Guess I'll have to show you two where it is~!"

And as bad as the situation was, at least I got a marshmallow-loving dictator. It could have been worse. Like, what if it was _Levi _who took over the world.

I mentally shuddered. Uh, no thanks.

"Where is it anyway?" Mel mused with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Italy. Where else, Mel-chan?"

"How am I supposed to know, uh..." The white-haired man's smile became softer, slightly more genuine. Of course, with at least that bit of mischief mixed in.

"You can call me Byakuran-_san_, Byakuran_-chan_, Byakuran-_sama_, Byakuran-_dono_, Byakuran-_nii_..." he continued listing his name with a whole bunch of other honorifics, some I'd never even heard of.

"How am I supposed to know, _Byaku-chan_?" Mel asked, satisfied to have something to call the guy. I really wished she didn't call him something that adorable. Granted, I probably would have called him something similar, given the chance. Because God knows, all innocent children and fangirls across the world _have _to call the happy fox-faced villain something so... _lovable. _

I face-walled. Clearly, I was beginning to lose it. Mel looked at me. "You okay, Eris?"

"No," I grumbled. "I'm losing it."

"If it helps," Byakuran interjected, "Most of the people at the base lost it a while ago, so you'll fit right in~!"

I grumbled, "Fucking perfect."

* * *

It was like Hell blew up outside for a barbeque party. Charred, blackened houses lined the streets, singed and withered sticks stanging where small trees once were. The sound of explosions carried through the morning air(_Morning _air. Did you notice that? I'm still half asleep here, people!), and much to my dissapointment, it didn't even smell like a campfire or anything. Off to the side, Byakuran was roasting a marshmallow on a stick over the smoldering ruins of my room( we would have a serious chat about that later), and was constantly poking the browned parts.

I hate this guy.

Millefiore agents ran about, causing more explosion-y mayhem. They were clad in-ahem, how should I put it? Oh yes- _EXTREMELY_ stupid white outfits, complete with something that looked like a cross in between gas masks and uneven eye holes; and for some odd reason, it reminded me faintly of an ant eater. I facepalmed. The stupidity of the world was rising drastically. To get my mind off the idiocy, I marched over to Byakuran, with Mel in tow.

"So," I said, "How exactly are we getting to your base thing? Like, we can fly, but that'll take thirteen hours or so... I'm just saying, it would be a pain in the ass to fly that long."

"I have an idea~!" Byakuran sang. If there were words that were guaranteed to strike fear into my heart, that would be it.

"This cannot end well," I muttered solemnly. Mel tasered me, her fingers digging into my side, and I made an extremely undignified squeaking noise.

"So how are we getting there?" she asked while I was recovering from her attack.

Byakuran laughed. "Why, with my wonderful patented Ring Flame Teleportation System™!

"..." Yeah. I had no words for this.

"The who-what?" asked Mel, her face contorted in confusion.

"FOLLOW ME~!" Byakuran sang, and began skipping down the ruined road. I stayed in place, yelling, "Wait! Can't you just call the stupid bloody thing here?"

"Oh. Right." Looking dejected, he came back. He pulled out a white cellphone-shaped device out of one of his many pockets. It had one big button in the middle that read _Press me, _and a red light at the top. He pressed the button. A huge round white device appeared in the sky, plocking the sun. It was composed of of a floating purple gauge for _fiamma volts, _circles and some gears that I simply don't feel like describing.

"Oh," Mel said in a small voice. "_That's _what it is."

I asked, "So... how do you operate it...?"

"Well, to do that, you need five million _fiamma volts." _

"... That's alot."

"Yup~!" He chirped, totally cheerful despite the carnage surrounding us. "That's why I brought this!" He dug in a small pocket, and came up with a small pill thing, the size of a thumbnail.

I began to ask, "What's that?", but I barely got a word out before Byakuran threw the pill thing up to the machine. I had to admit; that guy could throw like a pro baseball player. It reached about three quarters of the way when the device trapped it in a bright beam of light, and it dissapeared. And the gauge for _fiamma volts, _despite the fact that a moment ago, had been at zero, read _5000000 fiamma volts. _

"Um..."

Byakuran turned to us with a huge, prideful smile. "Time to go, guys~!"

* * *

**Blah. Too lazy to continue. I'm tired, okay? LEAVE MEH ALONE!**

**Jokes. LOVE YOU GUYS. And Byak-kun. I CAN'T HATE HIM, HE'S TOO CUTE. ^.^ TO THE EXTREME... Yeah, you can tell, I'm REALLY tired. It's 1:10 AM. BUT I DID DO SOME CRAP FOR THE KHR FANDOM-OSITY.**

**Go to mah profile! I got my Bel t-shirt there and my Tsuna Awakens piano cover... pwease? *puppyy dog eyes***

**Wanna review for the bacon?**


	3. I'm Sent To Demon Summoning Type Thing

**Yeah. No excuses for not updating. Gomenesai! Too lazy, had writer's block. Full AN at the bottom. See ya there~!**

**Okay. Bad Kris-chan. Bad author-chan! The first edition of this damned chapter missed WAYYYYY too much stuff. I practically rewrote the second half. Sorry to anyone who read it before hand! SO sorry! Pwease fowgive me? :3 At least it's _much _longer, ne?**

Advice for anyone planning on using the Ring Flame Teleportation System™.

Don't use it.

Because that stupid teleportation device _hurts._ Sure, the actual teleporting is relatively cool(and by 'relatively cool', I mean completely mind-blowingly awesome), but the landing! Why can't they install something to cushion the fall? Or maybe, per say, warn us to strap pillows to our person before we leave. I landed on my back on damp sand. And soft as sand is, try falling from twenty feet in the air, _then _landing.

Mel landed on facedown, but her drop was only from about ten feet up(how? I tell you, the laws of physics are working against me), as well as Byakuran, who landed on his feet. Mel winced. "Ah, that stung."

"Aw, poor you," I retorted. "At least _you _won't have back problems when you grow up."

Byakuran laughed, saying something about how "the newbies almost always got injured the first time." I glared at him.

"If you knew that, then why didn't you _tell _us?"

A voice interrupted the white-haired Italian man before he could respond. "_Ecco! Il Don Byakuran." _I sighed. Great. Another guy on the whole bandwagon for world domination, and even worse, another language. Mel may have picked up on Italian from our grandmother, but personally, I kinda fell down and failed with the whole language thing. I know Japanese is _much _harder to learn as oppose to Italian, but in all honesty, why learn another language when you don't have to, right?

I sound like a total lazy ass. I know.

Five people came over. One was a guy with long teal hair, done half up, half down. Like a girl's. The girl next to him, who looked to be around my age, had long blue—a colour I would totally kill for— hair, and wore only an ill-fitting cloak. The tallest of the group wore a traveller's cloak, like the one you would probably see in Assassin's Creed. A scarlet-maroon mask hid his face, which I found odd and creepy(it was a wonder that no one was staring at any of them). When I saw a the guy with red hair, the first word that instantly came to mind was the word _scarlet. _It suited him, at least. The last one, a small little guy with spinach-green hair, looked like a zombie. Creepy, but somehow, he struck me as the sweetest of the group.

In other words, for those of you who like the short and sweet version of things, it was five of the Six Funeral Wreaths.

"_Mah," _Byakuran said, "_parliate in giapponese o inglese, per favore. Lei, " _he gestured at, "_non parlia in Italiano. Ma lei sia sorella parlia in italiano. Io so voi parliate giapponese _e _inglese. Piacere."_

The teal-haired man, Kikyo, turned to us, and took a moment before saying in English, " It's a pleasure. I'm Kikyo, and this is-" he rattled off the names of the other four while I tried to look like this was all very new to me. Mel was attempting to commit the names to memory, while I noted, with amusement, that it was the day in which the Mayans predicted the end of the world.

"I'm Mel," she said, "and this is my sister Eris." I waved in response.

"Nyu," Bluebell leered at both of us, like we were strays brought into a home. "Byakuran, where did they come from?"

I opened my mouth to retort some horribly sarcastic remark, but Byakuran beat me to responding. "Eris-chan has some info on our dear Tsunayoshi-kun~!"

"How do you come to that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Your sketchbook, which I'm sure you brought with ya!"

"Um…. Maybe…." My backpack, which held my sketchbook, felt about five pounds heavier.

But then Bluebell decided to shock me slightly further. "Who's Tsunayoshi?"

Wait... _what?_

Byakuran grinned sheepishly. "Right, Tsunayoshi-kun isn't in this world... I forgot~!"

"Uhm..." was my input to the conversation. "So what's my point of being here?"

"I send you two to the one world that needs you, of course!" Cue extremely cheery smile.

"Uh... So how does that happen again?" Because, you know, I'd _really _rather not turn into some other form, like _Ghost, _for example, who decided to go world jumping.

"I'll explain at the base~! Come on!"

And so, roughly an hour and a half later, both Mel and I were seated in a white, modern-looking meeting room, sitting next to eachother and facing Byakuran, who bore a white lab coat and not-needed glasses.

"Did you two know it's almost impossible to transport any things-inanimate or living- to another world?"

"What exactly do you mean by 'another world', Byaku-chan?" Mel asked with some concern. Poor girl. She was only getting this concept now. This was going to take a while...

Which is why I cut it short by bluntly saying, "There's parallel worlds. Infinite amounts of them that stem from your choices. The end."

Mel blinked, trying to digest that. It took her a couple moments, but she got it. "Oh." Yeah.

"Note," Byakuran said, "how I said _almost _impossible. There are different me's in each parallel world. Sometimes, we are granted with a different power variation~! Isn't that cool?" Before I had the chance to say anything, he continued on. " One version of me has the ability to abosorb flames-" _Whom I shall be scared shitless of later on, I'm sure, "_ and another version has the ability to teleport. But I'm still jealous of the one who has the power to remake stuff. He can make marshmallows." The albino man had a very obvious, very cute and childlike pout.

"Trust me, I'm jealous too," Mel said sincerely.

"What does this have to do with us, again?" I asked.

Byakuran opened his eyes for a brief moment, and the cheery man that I had grown somewhat accustomed to was replaced by a scheming madman. "My ability is sending things to other worlds. Or receiving things. But only directly from this world to another, or vice versa."

"…Oh. I see." And I did. And it was freaking scary. "Think about all the Christmas gifts you'd get from the other Byakurans."

"It's true~! I've already sent over another girl there!" Byakuran closed his eyes, the optimistic happy guy I was used to again.

He did? "You did?" Mel asked, about as shocked as I was.

"Yep~! She had a book with Tsunayoshi-kun's face on it! But I accidentally burnt it…. Ma! She knows information still. Her name is Blaise Turner~! Anyway, I send you guys over to the last guy! He needs help, and you have information about his target."

Mel sent over a look that clearly said, _You _do?

Ignoring my dear sister, I asked Byakuran, "So, how do you do it?"

"It works lots like the Ring Flame Teleportation System™." Fuck my life. "It's easy~! A concentration of flames, focus on the other world, and _boom! _You're in a different world. It won't hurt~!"

Mel asked, "So when do we leave?"

"Now."

Six minutes later, I was standing in the center of a circular room, with no furniture, and a drawn circle on the floor that looked suspiciously like a demon's pentagram. It was a star, the one a child would draw in one stroke, with cross hatched circles around it. Mel and I stood in the center of the pentagram, in the star. We held hands, and had all our bags and stuff linked up with us. "It's like a package deal!" Byakuran said gleefully. He stood before the circle, right where the door was. He had his hands out before him, like he was pushing an invisible wall.

Byakuran closed his eyes(or, uhm…. Closed his eyes more than they already were…?), and the circle began to glow white and rainbow at the same time. He opened his eyes(or, you know, returned them to their normal state?). "Nya~ It's set!"

I looked around the room, and an evil idea popped into my head. "Byakuran!" I called. "You have to promise me something! Absolutely promise!"

"I pinky-swear, Eris-chan!" He looked sincere about it too. I smirked. "Before you leave this room, you have to sit in the corner of this room!"

He looked around the room, and his face fell. There were no corners in a circular room. Mel was mumbling something about how I was 'Such a troll'. There was a white blur filling my vision, and it stayed there for seconds, before I felt myself go weightless.

"OHMYGODTHISISSONOTCOOLOHFUC-"

We actually landed quite gently. We were still standing. In the middle of a meeting room. With Byakuran. And some people with black uniforms- Black Spell- and people in white uniforms- White Spell. Were those captains?

I decided to break the silence with a cough. Because making things more awkward was my specialty. I switched back to my clumsy Japanese, but I'm pretty sure my Western accent was pretty obvious. "Haha, I guess we got the wrong room. Come on, sis-"

"Eris-chan~! Mel-chan~!" Byakuran rushed over and hugged us like we were long lost relatives(even though that would be kinda badass). "I heard from the other guy! You just walked in on the captain's meeting! How about I introd-"

"No thanks!" I squeaked. Besides, people were looking at us oddly. I had to scan the room a couple times before I saw the eternal creeper—no, not Daemon Spade, but Glo Xinia. Yay.

"Guys, these are Eris and Melissa Sylvie! Eris-chan has information on Tsunayoshi-kun! She-"

"Does she have information on the Vongola Rings?" a new, slightly raspy voice asked. I mentally facepalmed/desked/lockered/booked/ walled/toothbrushed/shoveled/armed/fluted?/ laptoped.

"Uhm, not really. You see, my info really is quite limit-"

"But as someone who has information on Sawa-"

"SHUT UP! I don't, okay? S_o zip it." Before I end you, _I mentally added. Silence followed.

Oh, the joys of being blunt.

* * *

"So!" I said cheerfully, smacking my hands together, "Where are we going? You didn't specifically answer me yet, Byaku-chan~!"

"_You, _are going to the castle in the outskirts. It's nearby this base, so we can come visit!"

"Wait, why isn't Mel coming?" I asked, at the same time that Mel asked "Why can't I go?"

"We need _some _reassurance that Eris-chan will help!" I gulped. Shit.

"Can I at least visit my _sorella?" _Mel asked. I felt a rush of warmth, which didn't happen often. She was my only family now. Which kinda sucked, since that meant that the rest of my family was…. Well, you can guess it! Dead. There.

Byakuran hesitated on this. Deciding how much leash to give us. "Sure! We'll also have video chat installed, so we can keep in touch!"

I nodded. "It's a deal."

I was given a set of uniforms of the White Spell, for formal purposes, like meeting with captains(Ugh. I'm still scarred from the call with Glo Xinia. I'm happy that asshat fought Chrome and Mukuro and failed), and was installed in the mansion/castle thing. And after about an hour of mulling over why it looked so familiar, I gave up. On the sad note, the mansion was actually quite comfy. It was like staying at a five star hotel, only with Evil-Shaggy-Haired-EXTREMELY-Inflated-Ego-Prince-man(Rasiel) prancing around like he owned the place. He didn't, actually. Currently, the leader for the base of operations was some French guy named Georges Jean(pronounced J-ah-n). He was a large burly idiot, whom I saw more as a blockhead, less as a general in a mafia war.

At least Olgert wasn't as much of an ass as he was in the anime. He was actually somewhat nice. Slightly stuck up, but nice.

The days passed slowly, yet quickly. Partially slowly, because of the wonderful thing we humans call boredom. I was allowed to come and go(with an escort. Olgert came, actually.), because really, where would I run off to? The Millefiore had connections everywhere. _Everywhere. _But trust me, if there was ever a conflict within the base with the Vongola family, I had an escape plan.

I'd bought a new sketchbook, and had been drawing in other anime characters in there. Byakuran once asked me who the tall, black-haired character in the eighteenth century tailcoat was. I told him it was a kickass demon whom made dinner.

He never really pressed on with that one.

There was also the time where he saw me drawing a dragon-like figure with pink hair, who was breathing fire, while the blond girl next to him totally freaked out.

Byakuran didn't press on with that one either.

I was installed in the living room, cross-hatching a _shinigami _clothed in black robes and a white _haori, _when the book was roughly snatched away. I didn't even have to ask who it was.

"RASIEL, YOU ASS, GIVE IT BACK!"

" Ushesheshe!The king may see whatever he wants, whenever~" said the arrogant prince.

"Craps I give? None. Now _givvit." _He held it high above his head, which didn't help, because the bastard was so obnoxiously _tall. _

"No~"

It took all my willpower(which was quite limited) to not jump and look like an idiot midget. Instead, I ninja-leaped on a chair, barely making it, and snatched the book out of Rasiel's hand. "Victory!" I cried, rushing out of the room with the book safely clutched in my arms.

"Usheshe! Not for long, peasant!" He ran after me. The first thing I did—hide the book in the kitchen, in a cupboard with ingredients. Second thing I did—run to the pool, and jump in, jeans and all. But at least Rasiel wouldn't be willing to jump into a pool, right? I'd just stay here, and try to stay on the surface, as my jeans dragged me down.

As it turns out, I almost jumped on someone. A girl, almost the same age as I was. Oops. "Sorry! On the run from psycho!"

The girl eyed me. She had bushy light brown, almost blonde hair, and grey-blue eyes. And second… she was short. Like, hobbit short.

"Are you new here?"

"Yeah," I panted, trying to catch my breath. "Came this morning. Eris. Eris Sylvie."

"Blaise Turner," she replied. I grinned. "Byakuran mentioned you! You were the other information-"

_SPLASH. _

_ "Shit! __Gotta go!"_

Rasiel jumped in the pool. Did he not have the common sense to realize that books don't survive under water?

It was about an hour of hide-and-seek before I returned to the castle, still not really dry. It was getting dark, so I changed into a pair of PJs, put away my sketchbook, and went to the kitchen. I was starving. I saw Blaise there.

"You're from the other world as well, huh?" was the first thing she said.

"Hi to you too. But yeah." I sat down, with a cup of tea. "Where was he when he caught you?"

"'Merica. I've lived there for my entire life. You?" I was about to respond, but I hushed when two identical pink-haired-and-masked-and-evil-yet-easily-broken-but-replaceable people passed. Cervello. I watched them till they left, and continued.

"Japan. I grew up in America, though!"

"No point of speaking some weird version of Japanese, then!" she said in English. "I was actually up in the unholy hours of the morning Googling KHR pictures." She grinned sheepishly.

"You're a genius! I was at least _drawing. _Much more productive!"

We kept talking. It lasted a while.

"You're so short~! Almost…. Hobbit sized, Hobbit." I grinned evilly.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "_Hobbit?"_

"Yep!"

"I'm not going to respond to that name."

"Hobbit-chan!"

"…"

"Hobbs~!"

"…."

"Kufufu, Hobbit-_kun."_

"_-Kun? _That's for guys, isn't it?"

"Well…"

"GET OVER HERE DAMMIT."

"FUCK. THE HOBBIT IS PISSED, CHILDREN! THE HOBBIT IS LOOSE!" I cackled maniacally as I ran away.

The next day passed uneventfully. It was one of those days where no one really does anything, and just sits there like a potato, watching TV, or surfing the web. Or running from Hobbits. But still, at the end of the day, I was tired. I'm iron deficient, if you must know. I don't have many decent red blood cells. So if I get a deep gash, or starve…. I would be screwed. But all in all, it also made me more tired. Now remember this, as it's important for later.

If there's anything I should tell you, it's this—life doesn't like me. I had less than an hour and a half of sleep before the doors burst open, the lights turned on, and knives embedded themselves in my pillow, inches from my throat. I didn't have time to widen my eyes(or even properly wake up) before I heard a distinct…

"Ushishishi~! The prince is here~!"

**Yay. Filler and cliffie~! Because I was bored. And had nothing to do. And didn't feel like writing Varia today. **

**Did anyone see the anime references? Anyone? ^.^**

**SO. End of the world, guys? Yeah? That was tons of fun….. But I **_**did **_**go through World War 3,4,5,6 and 7 at music class…. Because of a bag of chocolate chip cookies. -.- I love my class though. ^_^**

**Anyway, REVIEW. FOR THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT(Merry Christmas, guys!)**


	4. Dawn of-Crap, Running for My Life! Bye!

**Well, I was _really _bored, so started writing. But who else had an awesome Christmas~? Anyone? ^.^ I'm SO sorry for the people who read the previous chapter before the 27th, I screwed up and had to add a whole lot more of random crap. -_- At least the chapter's longer now. ANYWAY. New Year's coming up in a day and an eigth or so! 2013, the year that the Mayans didn't have on their calander because they didn't have room. YAY~!**

**Responses to reviews, because I'm too lazy to individually PM everyone(I forgot to do this last chapter too. I STILL don't have responses for the last chapter. -_-).**

**Discoabc- Dude, that World War was BRUTAL. DX  
Yo, don't sketchbooks breathe in like, _tea_? XD YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT! HOW COULD YOU?  
Maybe if Byakuran actually hired Sebas-chan, the first task would be to make the world's largest marshmallow house. O_o Know the feeling of phone typing rejection. Trust me. -.- Worst thing in the world. Next to Levi.  
VAAAARRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAA A- Read as **_FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKK KKK RUN FOR YOUR LIFE_ **or **_SPARTAAAAAA!  
_**In the near future, I see Squ-Squ with extreme abuse. Oh, the ideas I'm having for something about one or two chapters away from now. ):D I dunno if this is good or not, but I'm SO tempted to mention Eliza-chan just for Squ-chan's reaction. But she'd probably throw Eris' sketchbook in a pool of tea... I'm losing my mind. May the Tea God help me. -_-**

**A simple fan(anon) - Thank you~! That actually made my day. And the day after that. Actually, I lied. That made my entire freaking _life. _So I updated... yeah. HERE YA GO~!**

**Hobbit(too lazy to write out your damn-ass long penname)- SHADDUP. O_e I did that at like, two in the morning. I'm still going with the idea to push your character in front of a bus at some point~! AND YOU STILL DIDN'T POST YOUR DAMN STORY. MADE ME SCARED FOR NOTHING YOU ARSE! AND STOP IGNORING ME ON SKYPE YOU DAMN IDIOT.  
AND NO, I UPDATE AT A DECENT RATE NOW. SO _STAI ZITTO, BASTARDA. -.- _Ram-Hobbit. Die. Also, I have more story ideas. *evil grin* GET ON SKYPE, YOU STUPID STAN THING.**

I really didn't have time_ to_ respond. In any way. For one thing, I just kind of sat there in open shock, what with my mouth hanging open and all(real attractive, right?). I definitely didn't have any time after that because the psychotic prince leaped across the room, on my bed, and held a knife to my throat.

"This peasant doesn't look like a professional Millefiore member. Don't you agree, Froggie?"

"VOI! Bel! Stop wasting time! We're supposed to meet up with the shitty boss and everyone else in five minutes! Interrogate the trash, and we leave!"

"No one's allowed to order the prince around, Squ!"

"Hey, sempai, doesn't Boss do it all the time?"

"Ushishi~ Shut up, Froggie!" The blonde threw knives out the door with his other hand, and they presumably hit their target, as a small 'ah' could be heard. And to this day, I curse my mouth, because I automatically said, "Throwing knives at people isn't very nice. Where have the manners gone with this generation?"

"The prince orders the peasant to be quiet~ The prince is older by ten years, from the looks of it."

"The prince, incidentally, also speaks about himself in third person. The badass(which would be me, obviously...Right?) is highly questioning his sanity."

Bel inched the knife closer, and due to this funny thing called breathing, it nicked my collarbone from the rise and fall of my chest. A slight cold and hot pain, like a freezing paper cut, and what I'm pretty sure was a trickle of blood. It's not like it would be lemonade~! From the door, I could hear a monotone voice saying, "I agree with hostage-san. I question Bel-sempai's sanity as well." Really? Hostage-san?

"Silence, peasant~! The prince demands to know where the rest of your superiors are."

In continuing the third-person narrative conversation-thing, I replied smoothly, "The badass believes that she has no superiors, as the badass is here against her will."

"Ushishi~ A Millefiore hostage? Interesting~!"

" VOIII! Bring the scum along. The shitty boss will want to see what the hell is going on." The blade lifted.

"WAIT. The badass, for one thing, knows of another hostage in this mansion. She's in the room next to here."

"VOIIIII! Fran, go get the hostage next door."

"Second," I leaned up to Bel, whispering, "could the prince break the camera installed by the nightstand? You can't see it, but it's roughly two inches away  
from the lamp, to the left."

"A peasant should never tell the prince what to do." He threw the knife(that still had some of my blood on it), and it hit the camera. Dead center, I think.

"Wonderful. Now get off of the badass." I pushed him off of me. I glanced over at the door.

"Hey, Squ-Squ…. Can I like, braid your hair? _Please?" _

"VOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIII! Fucking trash, _NO._"

"But just imagine how much less it will get in the way when you're fighting, or running, or ballet dancing-"

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE BALLET DANCING?" Oh, I was _so _enjoying this.

Solemnly, I said, "Because you happen to be the manliest swordsman-" I went through a HUGE fit of coughing for _some _particular reason. Wink wink. Nudge. Poke. Kick…. You get the idea. "-ever…."

"VOIIIIIII! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT COUGHING FOR?" I got up, and stretched, like a cat.

"No reason~!" Insert cheer face here. _VOI_s were heard while the swordsman swung his sword at nothing to burn off some anger.

"Hey, Evil Witch Devil Thing," a dry voice said, "stop stretching and hurry up." Blaise walked in the room, narrowly dodging a sword to the neck.

"Oh. But Hobbit, the badass has a plan on how to go completely undetected from here. For the hostages."

Blaise gave me an odd look. "Don't you know that talking in third person is one of the first signs of madness?"

I grinned, doing my best not to start laughing. Bel simply looked momentarily put out for the moment. I quickly sauntered to my bags(which still held all of my stuff), and held up the white Millefiore uniform. "Hobbit, go get yours. We'll need it. And actually, get the rest of your stuff."

Blaise left grumbling, with Fran on her heels, saying how annoying it was to go back and forth.

"And you two," I said to Bel and Squalo, "leave. I'm going to get changed so Byakuran doesn't know that I left on my own free will."

"VOIIIII! What's the point of that?!"

"I'll explain it later. Now, unless you aspire to be perverts like Levi, I suggest you get out." Looking EXTREMELY disgusted by the idea of being anything  
relatively close to Levi, they left the room and closed the door. Quickly, I changed into the Millefiore uniform, and was about to go to my bag of clothes when  
the door quickly opened and Blaise walked in with her own bag. She wore an ever-so slightly too-big Millefiore White Spell uniform. I reached into my bag, and tossed her a long, pink wig, and a fabric mask that hid the eyes. She stared at the items in confusion.

"Why-" And it slowly dawned on her. "We're dressing up as Cervello? Really?"

"Well, they all look kinda similar, so it would be easy to escape. The only thing that could identify us is your extremely short height." I smirked. She opened her mouth to protest, but I was already tying my own scarlet hair up, and smacking the wig onto my head. She stuck her tongue out at me, and did the same. I looked over to the door. "OI! BASTARDS. YOU CAN COME IN!"

Three relatively exasperated assassins came in, and looked slightly taken aback by out appearances, but not by much. Come on, they had to be prepared for  
anything, right?

"VOIII! You brats are Cervello?"

"NO, you bloody idiot! It's a freaking disguise!"

"The Witch is right. We have to get out of here without them knowing it was by free will."

"And why would that be, other hostage-san?" Fran asked, not sounding at all interested. But it's Fran, so… that should explain everything?

"Because the main base has hostages that we care about," I said. Well, I do. Byakuran may not have anyone of Blaise's.

Silence.

"Ushishi~ They're going to notice two hostages missing from this base. And two Cervello following us~!"

"Which is why," Blaise said, "I have an idea."

And then there was me. Who knew that Blaise, when she had ideas, was a very, and I repeat, VERY bad thing. "MOTHERFU-"

"VOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIII, SHUT UP SO WE CAN HEAR THIS KID'S PLAN, BRAT."

"VOOOOIIIII," I countered, "DON'T TELL THE BADASS WHAT TO DO."

"ANYWAY," Blaise interrupted loudly, "two of you guys go ahead. Sharkie and Prince guy. Sharkie("I'M NOT A FUCKING SHARK"), you warn Xanxus we're coming, and hopefully tell him not to kill us, and fake prince("I am NOT a fake prince"), I have another reason for you. Go way ahead. Show us how to get out of here, but don't make it too obvious. Kill a bunch of people on the way. Both me and the idiot-" I protested loudly at this. "- will follow, trying not to make it look like we're following to report to Byakuran. The last guy will follow up, trying to look like you're trying to kill us. Try to break as many cameras as possible on the way, fake prince. Use your knives. Either me or the witch use the transmitter to try to report, and before we reveal any info, we break the transmitter with a rock. That way, he'll presume we're dead, or kidnapped, or some shit like that."  
More silence.

"Voi, that's actually a decent plan. Brat, how old are you?"

"Fourteen~!"

"Yet still a Hobbit," I sighed, mock-regretfully.

"SHUT UP, BASTARD."

"Hey, falsely and self-proclaimed badass-san, how old are you?"

"Fifteen~! Almost sixteen~!... Wait, what do you mean, falsely proclaimed?"

"Ushishi~ The peasants are around the same age as the frog. Isn't that nice?"

"VOI! Shut up so we can pull this off!"

I might as well tip them off. "Hey, Rasiel, where's Olgert?" I asked innocently. "And since when were you turncoat from Millefiore?"

"…Peasant, how do you know of the prince's dead brother?" I knit my eyebrows together in false confusion.

"You mean you're not Rasiel? And what do you mean dead? I saw yo- I mean, your brother like, two hours ago. He freaking chased me through a pool and a  
forest yesterday."

"Hey, Bel-sempai, why didn't you tell us you had a brother?"

"Shut up, you stupid frog!"

"VOIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Squalo shouted, shutting them up. "We sort this out later! Let's go!" He dragged Bel outside, the latter 'Ushishi'-ing, and the sound of more random dying people.

"Come on, Hobbit-chan~!" I pulled a Squ-Squ(He's SO going to love that name) and dragged her out of the room. The halls, formerly beige, white and sophisticated, were splattered with various degrees of fresh scarlet blood, and rust brown maroon dried. Bodies lay in the corridor, of people with masks covering their face, blood clear on the white canvas of their suits, with knives protruding from vital places, or deep slashes and disemboweled limbs. I was fine, being a used-to-be klutz and constantly scraping my knees of bleeding in some way, shape, or form. My cousin had also been a klutz of the worse degree, somehow being seriously injured without fail each year until grade five. I'd watched him get staples to the head to close a gash.  
Blaise, however, looked sick. "I hate blood," she moaned.

If I had to be perfectly honest, I actually liked the color of the stuff. Red's one of my favourite colors! Along with purple.

"Come on, Hobbit. Just follow me, try not to look at the floor. Or the walls. Look more towards the ceiling."

Following Bel's and Squalo's path was easy. We just followed the carnage of knives and blood, and VOIs and Ushishishis. I wondered how they did stealth missions.

When we finally came to some fresh air, both of us were panting. The sky outside was clear and dark, littered with stars. Yay. We were met with an ever-present-yet-not-needed Levi(I know, a sad thing to start off with), the flamboyant Lussuria, a fake prince, a fuming shark….

And a frog who walked past us just now.

After some quick arguing, hasty introductions, Squalo started planning. "Levi and Lussuria will stay here as back up. I'll take the south side, and Bel and Fran take the north. Eliminate any enemies you see. As for the hostages-"

"I volunteer to go with the fake prince and the frog!" I said, raising my hand. No one wants to stick with Levi, I'd get bored just chilling at the castle, Xanxus would probably shoot us, Squalo would yell at us for being slow. Blaise held up her hand as well. "What the witch said!"

"Ushishi~ How will the peasants keep up?"

"With my Top Magician magic, sempai." A set of two flying carpets appeared.

"VOI! FINE! Just don't hold anyone back!"

Blaise nodded. "Got it~! We'll just hide in the trees or something."

"WAIT!" I grabbed Blaise's transmitter, which was pinned to her collar, and my own. I picked up a loose brick, and smashed hers with it. "Guys? Do me a favor and make it sound like everyone's dying and/or killing. Please?"

I took a deep breath, and poised my brick-hand over the transmitter. I tapped it. "Byakuran! Help us! We're under-" I decided then to smash the thing with my brick, crushing it and grinding it into the ground.

"Well," Blaise said ever so- dryly, "that takes care of that."

"Yep~!" I continued crushing Blaise's transmitter for good measure.

"TRASH." Guess what shark said that? " GET GOING. BRING AS MANY ROOKIES AS YOU NEED."

"Excuse me, but are you calling us-"

"VOIII! SHUT UP AND GO."

Bel and Fran decided then to jump off of the building. Very wise decision, if I do say myself. I dropped my duffel bag on the ground, hoping to grab it later. I left my backpack on in the case I needed some munchies. I noted that Blaise had her own hiking backpack. I hopped onto Fran's flying carpet(it was really soft~! And a really pretty purple), and Blaise followed suit with her own carpet(it was blue). I grabbed hold of my carpet's front corners, and attempted to drive it.  
The surprising thing? I could actually steer it. It automatically went foward on its own, and if I pulled the front towards me, backwards, it stopped.  
I love flying by carpet. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Blaise, who seemed to catch on as well, drift toward me. "Hey! Evil Witch Devil thing!"

"Yes, Hobbit~?"

"Is it just me, or did you start wondering how we're flying... On illusions..."

"Uh... No I didn't. But I guess it works the same way, how Chrome Dokuro has illusions for organs or some shit like that."

"I guess..." Blaise didn't sound too comfortable with my answer. To be honest, I wasn't comforted by it. But that was my job, to make up random crap that seems legit. I think you should know that I'm a bit of a compulsive liar. Bad habit I got when I was a kid. Personally, I blame a combination of math homework, competitiveness, and an older cousin. I kept driving my carpet, and eventually, we ended up in the forest, dodging branches and leaves. I ripped off my mask, unable to see the dark shadows of the forest as it was _without _having that stupid thing on my face. How the hell did the Cervello wear these things? Continuing on, I did a _horrible _job(and I'm not afraid to admit it) at dodging obstacles, while somehow, Blaise ended up getting through flawlessly.

I hated her.

"Hey, Blaise… where did Fran and the fake prince go?"

"….. Shit…."

"I think," I began soberly, "that we have to resort to desperate measures."

"Basically, driving around randomly 'til we find them?"

"Pretty much~!"

"So, what happens if Rasiel gets there before us?"

"Well then, my dear Hobbit, that means for one, we are royally screwed, pun not intended, and secondly, we hide behind the trees and pray we don't die."

Blaise nodded. "Great plan," she commented sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up and go already, before we die because of some shitty bats."

We rode further into the forests. I strained my ears for the sound of knives being thrown, monotone '_sempai'_s, psychotic '_Ushishi~'_ing, or, since I was desperate, a _'VOI'. _

" Wait, Witch, shut up, I think I hear something." Apparantly, the Hobbit had been listening for the same thing.

" I wasn't even saying anything," I grumbled.

"SHHH!"

"FINE!" We hovered in place for a moment, before we heard the sound of burning forest, and insane, odd laughter. Maybe the bright scarlet light to my left was a clue.

"Found them…" I said.

"No shit, Sherlock." Blaise flew in the direction of the light. It was quite faint, and we lost it after half a minute.

"Still keep going in that direction," I advised the younger kid. "They should be somewhere around there."

We kept flying. It was a good five minutes or so, since we were going slowly.

You know how in the anime/manga(your choice with that one~), Rasiel, Fran, Bel and Olgert(actually, he was kinda quiet for most of the time), had this long conversation? Well, as it turns out, they hadn't been that loud. How I know? You'll see in a few seconds. What happened was Blaise and I heard Fran and Bel speaking in some quick Japanese. Finally happy that we weren't completely lost in this forest where a Levi may be wandering, I rushed over to where they were. We were coming in on an angle towards them, so we saw Bel and Fran's faces. I sped up. This proved to be one of the stupidest things I've ever done. I burst into the branch-clearing, about to greet the two. Blaise was way behind.

"Usheshe, look, I've found a peasant."

_Fuck. _I turned to look to my right. No one. I looked up. A man with shaggy blonde hai- You know what? I'm not even going to describe him, you know what he looks like. But there, sitting in all his false royalty, was Rasiel.

**So, feeling like an ass today. Leaving you all with a cliff-cliff. Teehee~!**

**On a random note, was it bad that in math class, I got mad at a question and started VOI-ing? Yeah? No? Mmkay. REVIEW, SO I GET MORE INSPIRATION TO TRY AND UPDATE BEFORE/DURING NEW YEARS.**


	5. We Plot Deaths With a Frying Pan

**HAPPY NEW YEARS! I'm tired, so this chapter is kinda crappy(not even kinda. It IS.) Sorreh. =.=**

** A simple fan—Thanks! I (usually) try my best to write! Except for this … sorry if it lets down expectations. But I can't even BEGIN to tell ya how grateful I am for a badass fan like you~! ^.^**

* * *

For the nth time that night, I was momentarily speechless with the 'Oh crap' moment. Blinking, I began backing up. Slowly.

"Hoo, this is awkward. I see you're all in the middle of something, so I'll just take my leave-" You'd never guess what happened afterwards. I shit you not, but an elephant crashed into me. It sent me and my carpet sprawling towards the enemy line.

"SHI-" I scrambled for the front of the carpet to steer it away. I went past the fake king and his butler, and made a sharp U-turn(does that even exist with carpets?) before I crashed into a tree, and began flying away.

"FUCK YEAH!" I flew back into the tree line.

Over the wind in my ears, I could hear the fake king order, "Olgert, go get her back. We need that information source for Byakuran-sama. Find the other one too." There are three letters that I think are quite accurate for my thoughts at this point- F.M.L. To this day, I still don't know how my carpet magically sped up. But it did. Blaise flew in from above and came down to my level.

"You _idiot," _she spat, looking like she wanted to punch me.

"I fully admit my idiotness. Happy? Now, we have to find a way to kick this guy's ass."

"What guy?"

"Oh, the butler guy. He's stalking us now." Blaise muttered something incoherent, but I'm pretty sure it was her swearing about how I was a moron, how I need more common sense… you get the idea.

"Any ideas, Hobbit? This guy has magical flying elephants, and rain flames, and a pedo stash." I shuddered. "We're screwed."

"I may have an idea," she sighed.

I said solemnly, "So do I." We both looked at each other. I knew her ideas were equivalent to hell splitting open, and mine were as bad as…. I don't know, getting a Justin Bieber CD for Christmas?

Both possibilities were equally horrible.

Being the mature person, I graciously said, "What hellish idea do you have that will probably get us killed, dear Hobbit?" Without even looking back, she reached into her pack and pulled out… a frying pan.

I snatched the frying pan away from her. "HOLY SHIT, WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A FRYING PAN YOU GODDAMNED PSYCHO?"

"Just in case," she said calmly.

"VOIIIIIIIIII! IN WHAT SCENARIO WOULD YOU NEED THAT?"

"…First thing, now."

"…Oh yeah…."

"Second, why would you imitate Squalo?"

"I got bored." I grinned sheepishly.

"Really? We're being chased by a highly dangerous Mafioso, and you got bored." I looked back, half expecting to see a raging guy with flying blue elephants.

"Somehow… Anyway, wanna hear my plan~?"

"NO."

"It's better than a frying pan, bro."

"Fine. What?"

"We fly back to the castle…. And then we let Xanxus deal with him?" Yeah, I was solely focusing on getting rid of this guy. Nothing else. Not even about the fact that Xanxus might blow us up along with the enemy, because let's face it—the Varia boss is _not _a patient man.

Apparently, Blaise was thinking the same thing. "You-"

"I know it seems suicidal. But what seems better? Hitting a dangerous elephant-loving Mafioso with a frying pan, or letting an extremely badass Mafioso handle that one with badass flame-spewing gun-things?"

Blaise mulled it over. I think that she figured that using an experienced assassin boss with guns was better than facing the butler with a small flat pan of metal. Finally, she sighed. "Which way is the castle?" she asked, defeated. I grinned superiorly.

"I don't know. But I think if we go over the trees, we can see it." And so began our quest to find this damned castle.

"A word of advice," Blaise said. "Don't stop moving. And don't slow down. The pedo-butler may be behind us."

"Oh yeah…. Forgot about that." After dodging many branches and leaves, we made it up there. Stars shined brightly above. I glided over the trees, my carpet barely skimming the leaves. When I saw the pointy beige spires, I grinned and turned—and found no one. I quickly ran through the possibilities in my head.

Possibility 1—The Hobbit was being a git and hiding to freak me out.

Possibility 2—She fell off of her carpet and was now falling to her death(too good of a possibility, I'm afraid.

I kid. I'd rather not be in this stupid dimension _and _be a loner.)

Possibility 3- She got kidnapped by the Pedo-Butler.

Judging from the fact that we were in a relatively serious situation, I doubt it was the first option. The lack of screaming was also a hint. So this is me guessing, but I'm presuming she got kidnapped. Quickly muttering some swear words, I hefted the frying pan—which I had confiscated from a Hobbit- and dived back into the trees, miraculously making it without hitting anything.

Not to name the elephant in the room…. Actually, I lied. The elephant of the moment was right _there. _And _glowing. _A man in a suit was next to the elephant. Peering closer, I saw a person-carpet burrito enclosed in the elephant's trunk. And said burrito was moving.

Sneaking up as quietly as possible, I silently flew my carpet like a ninja. The frying pan was poised and ready for a beat down. Right when the front of my carpet nudged him, he whirled, and I brought the frying pan down. Like a boss.

Three things happened at once. The butler was unconscious. The blue Rain flames disappeared. And since there were now no flames to power the boots, the man fell. There were no flames to power the elephant, so _that _disappeared. And since the elephant disappeared, there was now one floating rug burrito that happened to be unrolling. And in the end, I found a very mad Hobbit.

"Evil Witch Devil Thing! You stole my frying pan!"

"It was for good intentions. Who knew, Hobbit~? Your plan worked!" I flashed her a big grin. "Let's bring him over to Xanxy!"

"…Never utter that name in front of him."

I sighed. "I know…." And then I remembered the crap from the anime. "Wait, do you think we need to go and help Fran and Bel? Because they may get stuck with the whole Storm Bat thing… and there's no Pedo-Butler to suggest to Rasiel that they should go storm the castle…" Blaise paled.

"One of us carry the bastard butler to the castle, the other lures the fallen king to Xanxus?"

"Sounds good. So who gets Rasiel?" Blaise was silent for a moment, before suddenly yelling, "NOT IT!"

Before I could react, she dropped down to the ground with her flying carpet, loaded the unconscious man onto it, and disappeared.

Which left me. "Fuck my life…."

I flew back to the general direction that I came from. Fast. I knew I was there when I heard the maniacal laughter of the psycho. When I got there, I yelled,

"OI! BASTARD! STILL LOOKING FOR ME?" This stirred an immediate reaction. His head whipped towards me, shocked, before he replaced his expression with a large grin.

"Usheshe, Olgert failed, did he?"

"I knocked him out with _my_(Yes. I had officially commandeered this wonderful weapon) frying pan." I waved it around. "So I'll be going now, considering the fact that your chair really can't be _that _mobile. So…. Bye~!"

I flew in the direction(at least, I _hoped _it was the right direction) of the castle. And I knew my plan was somehow a success when I heard the sound of flames behind me. They had this sort of soft sound, like the sound a laptop makes with the fan on overload. Only slightly louder. I looked back. This guy was practically two feet behind me!

"Shit!" I leaned forward, and as it turns out, that's how to speed up the carpet! It zoomed forward. Which meant I had less time to react to dodging. Yay.

Now, for those of you who are interested as to what it would look like if you'd been there, for the people imagining how the hell this went down…. I feel bad for ya. Because for the average onlooker, they'd see a shimmering purple flying carpet, which is strange enough. But then, they'd see a flying chair chasing it, with red flames spewing out of the chair legs.

When I could finally see the lights of a smoldering castle, after five looonnnnnnnggggggg minutes, I could almost cheer. For one thing, the fake king had attempted at using Storm Bats, his reasoning probably, _"Meh, she'll survive… I think." _I'd almost crashed into trees(no surprise there). I broke a couple of his reaching fingers with the frying pan. So all in all, I got a pretty good deal out of it~!

I burst through the tree line, with my dear stalker almost on my back, and leaning far enough to speed it up to the point where I almost fell off of the front. "I'm getting Fran to redesign this thing," I grumbled. I was speeding towards the castle when, just because life enjoys my misery, a bright orange light sped towards me. Yelping, I dived closer to the ground. It missed Rasiel. _Barely. _

"VOIIIIIII! YOU SHITTY BOSS! YOU ALMOST HIT ONE OF OUR ALLIES!"

I could barely hear the low "Shut the fuck up, scum," from one of our favourite bosses. But I was close.

So I decided to respond with my "ABSFGHAD DON'T SHOOT ME!" I veered off of my course, and another shot of flames soared above me.

I was close now. Really close. I dove behind the stone wall that happened to be slightly past Xanxus' throne, past a white liger, and past Squ-Squ. The Hobbit was there, waiting.

"I hate you," I gasped out, breathing quick from adrenaline and fear. I sat on my now-hovering carpet, several inches off the floor.

"It's for stealing my frying pan," she said evenly. I could hear the sounds of the fake king being annihilated. I glanced over from the wall. It seems that Rasiel had tried using his storm bats, whom all got destroyed by the Flames of Rage. Whoopdedoo.

"Fair enough," I muttered. "But I still hate you." We watched in silence as the fake king was petrified and blown to bits. Lovely to watch, I tell you.

"By the way," I said offhandedly, "what happened to Olgert?"

"We tied him up. In a carpet. That ended up being turned to stone."

"…How did you not turn him to stone?"

Blaise shrugged nonchalantly. "Beats me. Ask Xanxus."

I shuddered. "Never mind."

**I'm tired. And ending it there. I know, overall, it's a _really _shitty chapter. But I'm exhausted.**

** BUT I'm posting the Varia omake tomorrow. For 2013. Send in ideas, guys~! (Warning. Basically means next chapter's gonna be a filler.)**

** So… HAPPY NEW YEARS GUYS! 2013! Booyeah~! Review for the sake of surviving, and send in ideas!**


	6. In Which Squ-Squ Goes Mystic Flamingo

**Pathetic grovelling for forgiveness and mercy from torture/assasinations at the bottom! See you guys there!**

**REPLIES!**

**a simple fan- I AM SO SORRY! I have a huge explanation, but thank you for kicking my ass back into gear!**

**Goatzie- Squzie liked your plan. Fine. VHATEVER. I'm keeping the frying pan as of now, and naming it Steven. GOOD DAY, Hobbit-Peasant!**

* * *

"VOIIIIIII, YOU BITCH! WAKE UP ALREADY!"

In my wonderful sleepy haze, I found it extremely easy to ignore the foghorn- I mean swordsman out in the halls. "Five more minutes, ma'am."

"ARE YOU CALLING ME A FUCKING WOMAN?

"Either that," I murmured, with my head buried in my pillow, "or _extremely _feminine. Your pick." The door burst open.

"VOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

"Good morning to you too."

"I will seriously fucking murder you," he growled. I yawned, and slowly got up and stretched like a cat, trying to work the sleep out of my system. And to annoy Squalo. I looked over. The swordsman looked quite tired, with dark circles under his eyes.

"Squ-Squ, I believe that there's concealer for your bags. If you want, I can see if Lussuria's willing to lend you some of his, but I doubt that you guys are the same skin tone—"

" VOIIIII! YOU BRAT! MY NAME IS NOT SQU-SQU." I was walking around the room now, fully ignoring the fuming dude by the door.

"Squ-chan then. But I like how you didn't even argue about the whole concealer thing." I shrugged. "So what was the point of waking me up again?" I asked airily.

His eye twitched. "Lussuria won't stop bitching until everybody gets to breakfast! Everyone except for the shitty boss and Levi is there."

"Well," I sighed, "if you're gonna cry and beg and bitch about it, I'll come. Just for you, Squ-Squ."

"VOIIIIIIIIIII!" Squalo swung his sword around in the air before accidentally embedding it in the wall. I patted his shoulder, grinning, and skipped out of the room. I left with Squ-Squ still raging with a sword in the wall.

I did a Wizard of Oz skip down the hall, where I severely hoped the kitchen was. Because otherwise, I'd be so screwed. I did manage to find the kitchen after a good ten minutes. Lussuria was waiting with a pink frilly apron and a spatula in hand. Blaise was sitting at the table and munching on waffles, along with Fran and Bel, who apparently found throwing knives at Fran's frog hat slightly more entertaining than verbally abusing the people around him. Xanxus nor Levi were anywhere to be seen.

"Ara? Eris-chan, you're awake! I made breakfast~" Lussuria was sliding some waffles and bacon onto a plate.

Oh. My. God.

Bacon.

I rushed forward, ignoring Fran's monotone comments and Bel's insane laughter in favor of the bacon. But because I was so ridiculously polite, I dutifully walked over to Lussuria and gave the man a hug. "Luss-nee-chan. You are an official badass." Blaise was giving me the 'You're-a-fucking-idiot' look, but I didn't care- As long as there was bacon, everything in the world was good.

I'd devoured my bacon and was now staring at the two small pancakes in front of me. "Someone pass the knives, would ya?"

"Ushishi~ With pleasure!" A knife embedded itself in the table, exactly one inch from my hand. I stared at it, slightly shaken, processing the existence of said knife before shrugging and grabbing it to cut up the pancakes.

It was an interesting breakfast.

* * *

Blaise looked at me suspiciously. "You're thinking of something. I can tell. You're being quiet for once."

I looked up from my browsing on my iPhone, and gave her an unholy grin. "Just remember, whatever happens, I _lurve _you~!"

"That's a lie and you know it," she deadpanned. I pouted. "What are you plotting, you strange Witch?"

"How to get back at Squ-Squ for waking me up." The Hobbit stared at me. "I'm thinking of going to a mall, buying crap, then dyeing his hair hot pink." I held up my phone. "It's called 'Mystic Flamingo' by um... Wait. It doesn't say the company name here."

"...You've got to be joking."

"Oh, but I'm not. I was planning on going in a few minutes with Lussuria. Wanna come~?"

Blaise gave me a deadpan look. "I hate shopping."

"But then you'll be alone with the psycho fake-prince, Fran, Squ-Squ, and Pedo-Stache-Man."

"Pedo-Stache-Man?" she asked skeptically, as if she was doubting my sanity.

"Levi." She made a noise of understanding. "So you coming~? Think of all the awesome Italian food~..."

"Fine. I'll come, but only because I don't want to be stuck with the Pedo-Stache-Man."

"Yay~! Lussuria said that Squ-Squ usually takes an afternoon nap. I'm dyeing his hair then. We can't do it tomorrow, because we're leaving for Namimori tonight." I sighed. To be honest, I would generally miss(most) of the Varia. Maybe I'd visit...?

"Eris-chan~~!" a mother-hen type voice called. "Do you have all your stuff~?"

I sighed resignedly, "Yes, Luss-nee-chan. Is it okay if the Hobbit comes as well?"

"Ara? You mean Blaise-chan? Sure! I can show you both all the cute stores they have~!" He made this happy gesture that I'm not even going to even try to explain. It's Lussuria. As awesomely peacock-ish he is, it's best not to question his motives.

An hour later, I was in the _Metropoli—_anItalian mall here in Milan—walking into a Hot Topic. A girl clad in punk clothes, who was only a couple years older than me, said "_Piacere~!" _with a smile. I nodded, hoping I looked like I understood what she was saying.

Yeah, I probably looked like the poor, confused tourist that I really was.

If I were buying that dye alone, it would've taken me forty minutes, including navigating the streets to find a bus and get back to headquarters. But since I was with Blaise and _Lussuria, _it took us _four_ hours. Not including the fact that we drove home, which took only ten minutes. Why, oh why did I agree to come with one of the most fashion-obsessed people on the face of the earth. Lussuria actually did take this opportunity to buy new feather boas, a pair of shades, some boots, some black hair dye(which raised a few eyebrows. I seriously hope that he wasn't going to dye his hair black. I wouldn't be able to imagine him with black hair), and God knows what else. And don't even get me started on how impossible it was to sneak away from the guy. Blaise kept shooting me a look that screamed "_You owe me. Big time." _Poor Hobbit. She didn't even get her Italian food.

I'll spare you the rest of the details. All in all, it was excruciating.

It was four o'clock by the time we got back. I was all for taking a nap, or going swimming, but as I was walking past a large office, I saw the perfect opportunity. A head of long silver hair was lying on the desk being pillowed by his arms. I looked at him. I looked at the bag in my hands. I looked at him. I grinned like the Cheshire Cat on steroids. I padded across the room—LIKE A NINJA—and stood behind the sleeping man with a jar of dye. I slipped the plastic gloves on(wouldn't want pink hands, right?) and got to work.

Squalo, as it turned out, was an unbelievably heavy sleeper. Or he was just extremely tired. I was able to get the majority of the hair before I got to the scalp. Now, had I not foreseen this, I would be utterly unprepared. But since I had, I managed to come here with everything that was required. I reached into the plastic bag and pulled out a paintbrush. Not those tiny little acrylic paints brushes, but those huge brushes meant for painting walls.

I left the room feeling quite accomplished. It had taken an hour to dye all the hair since I had to work delicately, and I got dye on my black shirt and my arms. Nothing a little rubbing alcohol couldn't get rid of. While I was examining the pink stains, I bumped into a man with bright red, green, and blonde hair.

"Ma! Eris-chan~! I was looking for you!" I blanched. Shit, what was he up to?

"Yes?" I asked suspiciously.

"You're free at the moment, right?"

"I guess…" He clapped his hands together.

"Perfect~! Come with me to my salon." The flamboyant Muay Thai fighter grabbed my hand and led/dragged me over to his room. I was half-contemplating running in the other direction and yelling "This is Sparta!" on my way out and hope to avoid him until the plane for Namomori left. I decided against it though, seeing as Lussuria was a trained assassin, taller, _definitely _more fit then I was, and would probably find me faster than Slenderman.

"So what exactly are we doing here, Luss-nee-chan?"

"Do you remember that black dye we bought earlier today~?" I was getting even more suspicious than I already was.

"…Yes?"

He didn't grace me with anymore words until a table came into view, complete with a black towel, the bottle of dye, and a tint brush. "I'm going to dye your hair black~!"

I wasn't too against the idea, but I wasn't all for it. "…"

He looked at me expectantly.

"…Why don't you just do this to the Hobbit?"

"Ara? Blaise-chan? I tried, but she ran away. She's surprisingly fast~! And she hid in a high corner, and I couldn't reach her. Blaise-chan can fit into really small places, like a cat~" I choked down a laugh. Oh, I would so hold this against her.

"…..That's nice. I think I have things to do, so bye~!" I bolted to the door, which happened to be locked. Lussuria held up a key in his hands, and I swear, there was an evil glint in his eye.

"Come over, Eris-chan~!" I hate karma. And my life.

* * *

I ended up with pitch black, slightly dry hair. He'd left three streaks of blood red hair .

I also ended up with soaking wet clothes. I shudder to recall the events, but just for you, dear reader, I'll explain what happened. Through dramatic flashback.

_"So how do I get this dye gunk outta my hair?" I twisted a dried and damp clump of hair. I swear, Lussuria's eyes/sunglasses glinted red. _

_"Just give me a minute, Eris-chan~!" He ran off to the bathroom. I could hear the sound of running water, and before I could ask what he was doing, he _threw a bucket of freezing water at my face.

_I must've looked pretty stupid, since I could hear the snap of a camera phone, and I could _swear _I heard a distinct "Ushishishi~' in the distance._

_"Oh what a shame! Sorry Eris-chan~!" He grinned apologetically. _FAKE._ "Here, I have something spare for you instead of that t-shirt." He held up a blue sun dress. I looked down at my shirt. It had bubble letters which read "_If you can read this then my invisibility cloak isn't working.'' _Damn. I actually liked that shirt._

_"That's okay, I think I have something spare in my bags. Really. I mean it." I snatched the forgotten key off the dresser and began backing towards the door._

_"Really, Eris-chan! You may catch a cold!"_

_"It's worth it!" I squeaked, and ran off towards the door. I shoved the key in the lock, twisted, and tumbled out of the room. I ran like Slenderman really _was _following me._

* * *

I'd ran to my room, changed, and went off to the pool. Been swimming in the pool for some time. Squalo still hadn't woken up, judging from the slightly quieter and more peaceful atmosphere. I wasn't sure if I should be ridiculously excited to see his reaction, or terrified. I settled for a weird place in between. I sighed. They really did have a nice pool here. The deep end was seven feet in, and there was a diving board. And it was _warm._

I was still in general shock of my now-black hair. It wasn't ugly or anything. It was actually decent looking. But it was still a shock when I looked into a mirror. Three days into an alternate universe, and my hair color gets changed. Yay. I began contemplating how Mel would react.

Right, you guys have probably wondered what's happened to the kid. Currently Vongola forces haven't been able to penetrate defenses of Byakuran's base. Getting to her was second on the priority list. Byakuran was the first. I groaned. Why must my life be so hard? Also-

_"**VOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" **_I presume Squalo woke up. I leapt out of the pool, wrapped a towel around me, and ran for the roof. Because really, who would search for me at the roof. On the way there, I saw the Hobbit reading a thick novel over the ottoman. I leaped onto the couch and jumped over her. Of course, there was an extremely perplexed shorty.

Just saying, no Hobbits were physically harmed in the making of the escape.

* * *

**I AM SO RIDICULOUSLY SORRY. I know, I totally lied when I said I was posting at New Year's. GOMENESAI! It was a crap-load of exams, and writer's block. I'm dead serious, I think I started four future chapters instead of this one cuz I got ideas for that instead of this. _A Simple fan _even decided to give me a cyber kick to get me writing again(I LOVE YA!)**

**So~~? What do ya think? I kinda cut it off suddenly, as I had no more ideas other than my crammed brain space. I'm still BLAH even now. I actually wrote today because I got laryngitis and sounded like Darth Vader and got bored. **

** VOTE ON MY MAMMON-BASED POLL ON MY PROFILE.**

**ON THE SIDE NOTE, I dyed some of my hair indigo~! FINALLY. I've been waiting to do that for a while. AND HAS ANYONE ELSE SEEN THE NEW HETALIA SERIES? YES!**

**So, I'mma sign off here. Got Laser Quest on Monday. Also have to beg my band teacher to let me learn alto sax. Wish me luck guys. PEACE!**


	7. And So, The Trolling Continues

**Yo! Long-arse(it's not that long) blabber on the bottom!**

**CuteDork- Oh my word, I KNOW! Just... Imagine SquSqu in the Rain Battles with this bright, fluorescent pink hair. I'm quite sure that I would either a)**fangirl** or b) **laugh my ass off**. Probably b. :3**

**Goatzie- Aww~! Ya hate me? The feeling is mutual. Please die abnormally while I laugh and my family's contemplating on going to DC so WATCH. OUT. ^.^**

**Badass Fan person- I UPDATED~! ^.^ Jeezum, don'tcha just HATE autocorrect? My friend has a whiteout tape thing with the dispenser that's shaped like a car. Get it...? No? Okay then... *goes to sulk in corner***

* * *

I thank whatever deity there is above that Squ-Squ didn't know about the storage attic. I managed to get a glimpse of the long, gorgeous, flowing…. _Pink _hair that trailed behind him, like the tail of a comet. And even though my life was at stake, and I was quite sure than any one of the Varia members wouldn't hesitate to kill a 'enemy hostage', it was worth seeing the guy's hair all done up. I'd always wondered throughout the series what he would look like with colored hair.

The people who worked here were nice. The kitchen staff actually felt sorry for me(though I highly doubt that they knew the reason why the swordsman was trying to kill me) and brought me some food. Seeing as neither Blaise and I were getting the super-awesome-mega Varia Quality dinner, I was eternally grateful to the poor people who worked here. I say poor mainly because, really, who would want to wake up every day to the sound of Squalo's eternal bitching in the morning?

As I was completely and utterly bored and therefore examining every inch of the attic, I managed to find a plastic silver painted tiara, an old Varia badge which read 'Levi Lightning Force'. I had been laughing five minutes straight after seeing the badge for two reasons—for one thing, the idea of Levi actually having subordinates was hilarious enough. Also, I was quite sure that the mentioned 'subordinates' were ten times more competent than Levi. The second reason why I almost died of laughter was simply because of the name. It sounded like an extremely cheesy Power Ranger name.

At the horrible soon-to-come dismay of others, I ended up with a plan. One which involved the tiara and the badge(yes, I see you in the back corner. The one who's probably thinking 'Oh dear lord….').

**Several hours later….**

The screams, the laughing, and the _VOI_s had ceased. I checked my phone. It read 2:00 am. The flight was around six. So that would give me enough time to execute the plan, and some time to escape. The first thing I did was ask a servant where Prince the Ripper's room was. The guy gave me a freaking _map(_and a questionable look) in order to navigate the mansion. Well, okay. That solved that.

Imagine the biggest mall you know of, and then trying to find the smallest, most insignificant convenience store that ever existed. Trying to find Bel's room was a lot like that. It took what felt like an hour. And finally, when I found the blood red doors, I was exhausted and half-wondering if my idea was really worth it. But alas, for the sake of trolling, I opened the door.

I must say, this mansion was quite well built. The floorboards didn't even creak the way they did at home. My feet padded softly against the ground, and I was pretty close to trying to hold my breath. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could see the bare glint of silver on the darker-than-black outline of what looked to be a night table. I grinned maniacally. As I approached, I gently lay the _Levi Lightning Force_ badge facedown in the most random corner I could think of. I snuck up to the nightstand and swiped the tiara with the plastic one from the attic, and honestly, I felt like Indiana Jones. Swapping the artifact with a fake.

Mission accomplished.

I tiptoed out of the room, and opened the map. And then face palmed.

My next destination was on the other side of the mansion.

I sighed. It was 4:29 am. My eyelids felt heavy. And at last, I was in front of white double doors with chipped paint. I softly opened the door, and walked over to the bed. I crouched, put the tiara under it, and stood up. On my way out, I could swear I saw murals of Xanxus sitting on a throne and haloed with golden paint. I shuddered.

I was never entering this room again. Unless it was for the sole purpose of attempting to murder Levi.

As I slowly trudged back to my room, I groaned. 5:19 am. I needed sleep. At least there was the thirteen hour flight.

Blaise was already waiting there, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Where have you been? More specifically, what the hell were you doing?"

"Crazy clubbing with Luss-nee-chan. You should come along next time." I rubbed my eyes and yawned.

"You know, I really don't trust you, evil Witch."

"Nothing I can do about that, Hobbit. Let's get out of here. Like, quickly."

Blaise cast her eyes heavenwards. "Oh dear Lord above, please help us escape potentially murderous assassins who will probably want to kill us due to the Witch's stupidity. Amen."

I packed whatever possessions I had into my bag. It was bulging with the crap I had—don't ya just hate it when that happens?—and therefore, I had to sit on it in order to zip it.

I slung the bag over my back and almost bucked under the weight. God, it was heavy. I grabbed the other duffel bag and said "Come on, Hobbit. We have a jet to catch."

I grabbed my now poorly abused map and opened it. "The landing strip is about a fifteen minute walk away."

"Where the hell did you get that map?"

I grinned uneasily. "Trust me, child. It's a _long _story. Now hurry up!"

The landing strip had exactly nine private jets. One was white. One was black. The rest were colored a specific color. You know, like orange, blue, violet, indigo, red, yellow, green… sound familiar?

"The black one," Blaise said, pointing.

I glanced over. The one that she was pointing at was indeed black, and seeing as it was the only one going under maintenance…..

"Oh. Good job shortie~!"

She grumbled. "Idiot….."

"Am not."

"Are to."

"Am not!"

"Are too."

"AM NOT!" Yeah. You get the gist of how that conversation went. We argued like that all the way until the plane took off.

It was a very nice plane. It had eight seats that leaned back, a wet bar, and a spa. I don't exactly know how the take-off went, because I was just out. I was too tired after my whole night of trolling assassins.

I woke up almost at the end of the flight. My ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton, and my head felt odd. I grimaced. The pressure from the plane. I swallowed several times in order to get rid of it, like Mel had figured out and taught me a while ago.

Mel. I still had to find a way to get her back. Seeing as she didn't know anything about Katekyo Hitman Reborn, she couldn't tell Byakuran anything, and since she was an important hostage for Blaise and I, she wasn't exactly expendable. I don't think he'd kill her.

A voice broke my reverie. "So Witch, what happened to your hair? Did Lussuria get to you?"

I buried my head in my hands and sighed in defeat. "Yeah. I'm not used to having black hair, and it wasn't my idea. I blame you."

"And how did you come to this conclusion?"

"Luss-nee-chan told me that he was going to use the dye on you instead." The Hobbit shuddered.

"Okay, I'm glad he caught you instead."

"Thanks."

The intercom buzzed, and the the guy speaking had really heavily accented English. "Attention passengers. We are landing soon in a small landing strip on the outskirts of Namimori, Japan. Please fasten your seatbelts for landing. Touchdown is in five minutes."

I glanced at Blaise. "So we're meeting the characters of KHR," I said soft enough that the pilot wouldn't hear.

"Yep."

"How are we finding them when we get there?"

"We're on our own after we leave this plane, I think."

"… Shit. So if the Varia defeated Rasiel yesterday, there's like, a two day intermission for everyone to recover…. "

"Something like that. Real Six Funeral Wreaths are revealed, and then—" Blaise held up a hand. "Wait. Why are we looking for the Melone base? Where's the Vongola base?"

"Ummmmmmm…. Hold on, let me check." I grabbed my phone and opened the free manga app and quickly scrolling through it. "Um, there's an entrance somewhere in the forest. So what do we do? Waltz up to the base and ring the doorbell?"

"I have an idea. Don't worry about it."

I gulped. Blaise having an idea... I feared it more than a twentyfour hour marathon of SquBitching. I grumbled, "It's official. The end is nigh."

I got off the plane first. Blaise ended up going over to the cockpit and asking the pilot some questions. She came off looking pretty satisfied, and she had a large map in one of her hands.

As it turns out, the pilot had given a map of Namimori, since he was quite sure that neither of us knew where we were going. Now _that's _what I call Varia Quality.

And so, we set off, not knowing where on planet earth we were going, with only a map and a digital manga source for reference in order to get to a secret mafia base.

Life really does hate us sometimes.

* * *

It took us almost exactly four hours to find the entrance. _Four hours. _And that's after the pilot had marked off a huge red _X _on the forest portion of the map and had given us a picture of the clearing the entrance hatch was. And by then, the both of us were exhausted, and ready to eat a dinosaur— at least, _I _was ready to eat the dinosaur. Fullstop.

When we were utterly sure that this was the right clearing, and no, the Hobbit had _not _confused a rock for a _Strau Mosca_ that could be stalking us _again_, we took turns jumping on the suspicious-looking square of sod attemptiing to contact whoever had cameras on this place. Now, while most people don''t nessecarily find a large square of sod suspicious, think about it. Who needs a random carpet-like square of grass in the middle of a forest. Where the crap grows naturally.

When it was my _x_-th time jumping, the hatch slowly opened, the lid lifting upwards on an angle, so I twisted my ankle landing and slid off the hatch like it was a slide. On the bad-news side: It hurt. But on the bright side, we managed to get access to a top-secret mafia base.

I guess that's cool.

The entrance was actually quite dark and cold. No matter how hard I tried, my boots wouldn't stop echoing across the metal ground. The farther in, the more it started warming up and looking more like a storage closet. We walked in silence, because by God, how awkward would it be if we started talking about how similar this all looked to the manga. That would probably raise questions.

The silence broke when we figured out that we were pretty much lost.

"—So if we turn this way, we—"

"No, you idiot! We already went that way!"

"Oh, you're calling _me _an idiot. At least I didn't mistake a Strau Mosca for a rock."

"I _will _castrate you with a spoon. Also, this isn't helping us to get anywhere!"

I was about to spit a response back when I saw a fat, short, and most of all, _shiny _figure in the background. Blaise called out, "Hello? Who is it?"

"... You're not Slenderman, are you?" I squinted at the figure. Blaise smacked me upside the head.

"Does he _look _like Slenderman? He isn't tall enough—" A gun clicked, and we froze. Slowly, and so in ridiculously in sync that I would laugh and it later, we turned towards the sound.

A baby, no higher than my shin, was pointing a green gun at us. "Ciaossu. Next time, before you infiltrate the strongest Mafia _famiglia_'s headquarters, it would be best not to bicker like old women. Now hurry up and get over to the meeting room. You have a message."

**Yeah, I'm feeling lazy, so you guys can suffer for the moment. ^.^ I intended to post this on my birthday, but I was late by two days. Whatever!**

**Yay! Sixteen! I am officially old enough to rule the world! ^.^ **

**Review because of random awesome that fills the air(and as a present... Pwease?)!**


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